Ready to Write

There are so many times when I think "I really should post something on our blog" but I've got to be honest...I don't want to.

I'm so tired of trying to think of what to blog about. Sure, I could talk about what we've been up to, how life is going, how I'm feeling with all this waiting, what I'm learning, etc., but when I started this blog it was to talk about our adoption process and right now there isn't anything happening. I don't want to keep writing about how we're hangin' in there, how the difficulty comes in waves, how I have no idea what's going to happen or when. I don't know...I guess I'm just frustrated that there's nothing to update you on. I'll keep doing my best, but if I don't post something in a while it's because I just don't know what to say. I did think of something today though...

It's Sunday - and for us it means that we attend church. Oddly enough, I find that being at church has been one of the more difficult things for me for the past while.

I don't know exactly why. Sometimes I'm emotional as I sing - about God's love, faithfulness, peace & strength. Sometimes it's hard to listen to whatever the message is about as it "hits home". Sometimes it's just that aching & longing when I see everyone with their kids (even if it means taking them screaming out of the service!)

I know church is community, but I actually feel very alone a lot of the time because nobody really knows how I'm feeling. They can imagine that it's not easy to wait, but they don't really know the intensity and craziness of all the emotions involved in this process. I don't expect them to. And I'm not looking for anyone to do anything. It's just the way things are.

Today, the message was about faith - believing that God exists and that He cares enough to respond to those who seek Him. I have no doubt that God exists and I believe that He cares more about me than I could ever understand. What I'm having trouble with is continuing to pray through all of this when I feel like it's not making a difference. I know He's listening, but I'm exhausted with pouring out my heart again and again and not hearing anything or seeing any answers.

Even after all of this said, I still wouldn't trade my experience for anything. I know that I am growing in my faith, in my relationships and as a person, which I think will make me a better mom. I also know that God is good. All the time. He is faithful and He WILL answer. When, I don't know, but I will persevere in trust & hopeful anticipation.

Here's To 6 Years...

Today, August 27, we celebrated our 6 yr. anniversary. What a journey we've had!

We celebrated yesterday with a great night out together and then this morning, Ian took me for a picnic breakfast. What an incredible morning to sit by the river and start the day! Thanks babe!

The rest of the day was spent with my extended family, celebrating my grandma's 85th birthday. Being with everyone made me realize how much I miss our family gatherings and how important it is to see each other & stay connected.

It was very evident in my grandma today...the love she has for her family, the thankfulness she felt in having all of her children there and the part of her that still deeply misses my grandpa. My grandparents were a beautiful example of love to the rest of our family and I am thankful for their faithfulness to God and to each other. I hope to have many wonderful and blessed years of marriage, just as they did!

(I know grandpa's eyes are closed, but I just really like this picture of them from our wedding)

I love you Ian and I can hardly wait to see what the years ahead hold! Whatever it is, I am so thankful to have you right by my side!!

Yep, Still Here

Hi! I don't have time to post right now, but I wanted to let you know we're still here. Just thought I'd share a song...gets me every time.

I'll try to write more soon!

Run 143

Hi everyone. We just finished the first 50km of Run 143 - amazing day - only 93km to go. To follow the run and latest blog posts - go to run143.blogspot.com.

Thanks!

Adoption Update :(

Hi everyone!

Well, we leave for North Battleford in 8 hrs. and I've got many mixed emotions tonight. I am SO excited for this adventure and to start running! I still don't quite know what I've gotten myself into, but I know it's gonna be great!

I'm also hurting & frustrated because we got another update from our agency and it looks like we're in for another 3 month delay. Seriously!! I don't know what to say. To say that this news is hard to hear is an understatement.

We will press on though, by God's grace. We are not about to give up now!!

It might seem like not the best timing...right before the run and all, but I think it might actually be good timing. What better way to get through a hard time than to surround yourself with family, friends, love and support.

Thank you...all of you.

To stay up to date on the run, you can visit www.run143.blogspot.com There will be videos and numerous posts throughout the day!

I'll leave you with a quote we received today...

“It is in the face of disappointment that the wise use their energy first to reflect before they react and waste the precious reserves of peace and sanity God provides us all to carry through those times”

Thumbs Up for Rock and Roll!

To add to our last blog post...Ian wanted me to post this inspirational speech in preparation for this week. (This is for you, Mike).

Only 5 Days Away!

It's July (obviously) and I'm feeling nervous, excited, anxious, etc.

First of all, RUN(one)43 is only 5 days away! I can hardly believe it's crept up on us already, although I am very ready to get out there and run. Not just to help support our adoption but because I am deeply passionate about caring for the fatherless and the forgotten. I have decided to run the entire 143km with Ian and I'm sure I'm naive to what's really ahead of me. The pain I will feel, however, is really nothing compared to what millions of children have to go through each day. I am honoured to run for this cause and to help bring awareness. We would love to have as many of you friends and family out there involved so if you haven't checked out the website yet or thought of how you might be part of this event...consider it!

Also, it would be great to have you join us for the BBQ at the finish line...this Sat. around 4:30 in Mewasin Park (if you don't know where that is, let me know). It's only $5/adult and will be a great time to celebrate the finish!!! (If you DO plan on coming, please let us know so we can at least have a rough idea of numbers.)

Second of all, we should be getting an update from our agency sometime this month. This honestly makes me more nervous than running 143km. I feel like I won't be able to handle another delay, but I'm scared to hope that things will actually get moving again. All I can do is pray. Pray for peace, a resolution to all of this, strength and patience. It's breaking my heart every day to think that our baby is waiting for us. I feel like an emotional mess some days and break down at the most unplanned times (like right now as I'm writing...sheesh!) Thankfully Ian is so encouraging and patient with me!

So, thank-you for reading, supporting us and praying for us. This baby is SO loved already and what a celebration it will be when they finally come home!

Have a great rest of the weekend!