365

One year ago today, our dossier was mailed off to South Africa.

15 months ago, we started this whole journey of adopting.

I had no idea what we were in for and although it's been more difficult than I probably imagined, I would make the same decisions all over again. Choosing to start our family through adoption is a beautiful thing and I'm grateful for this journey.

In other news, I'm at the end of a week off from school and although the break has been nice, I've also been sick the whole time. Bummer. Isn't that how it usually works though? Before the break, I thought..."Oh, I would just love one sick day at home to lie on the couch, read my book and sleep in". Well, I got many of those days over the holiday and now I'm just about back to my healthy self. Just in time to go back to work. :) Ah well, I miss the kids so I guess I'm ready to go back.

I feel like I have more to write, but I'm just not sure what right now. I'll have to save it for another day when my thoughts are more organized. For now, I'm going to go enjoy some time to read quietly by the fire on this cold, cold day.

Unknown

We're just past the 11 month mark of waiting for a referral and it looks like it we're going to pass a year.

We got an update from our agency yesterday and my heart sank. We've all been waiting to hear an update and what we heard was...we'll get another update in two months. Another 2 months!!!

I don't know what to say.

I'm feeling frustrated, sad, angry and weary. I don't understand.

All these families waiting. All the children waiting. My heart is breaking for them.

I'm out of words.

"The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit."

~ Psalm 34:17-18

Out of the Mouths of Babes

For Christmas I got this necklace as a gift from my parents. I have worn it everyday since and I'm sure you can see why.

A few weeks ago, one of the Gr. 1 students I work with asked me why I was wearing it. This boy is especially curious. I told him the gr. 1 version of what this necklace meant to me. He had a couple of questions, but the conversation didn't go far.

Yesterday though, we had this conversation...

Student (in his little German accent): Mrs. Klassen, how many days until you get your baby?

Me: I'm not sure.

S: Well, do you have a dad? And a mom?

M: Yes

S: Maybe you should ask them?

M: They don't know either. Only God knows. (It's a Christian school so God is talked about freely)

S: Well, when my mom leaves my room, I open my window and I ask God things and he gives them to me.

M: So you think I should ask God how many days?

S: Yeah, maybe he'll tell you "one week"

*My heart was melting*

We actually had about a 10 minute conversation about adoption and our baby. He was so inquisitive and wanted to know things like...

- who would look after our baby? - because I obviously had to be at work (he suggested my dad)

- how many babies were there in Africa?

- how many babies were we going to bring home? (he thought maybe 100)

- what would happen to the other babies that we didn't bring home? (he was very sad to learn that some of them might grow up without a mom or dad)

I was so touched by our conversation and at the sincerity and innocence of it all. Children have an interesting perspective which is part of why I love my job so much. There was something about his matter-of-fact faith. Ask God...He'll answer. Why do our adult minds make that such a difficult thing? Why does doubt seem to creep in so easily?

So, do I dare ask God how many days until we meet our baby?

Maybe He'll tell me "one week".

Wouldn't that be amazing!