Mommyhood

I've been having the HARDEST time wanting to go to work lately. That's unusual for me because I honestly love my job and have often looked forward to going to work in the morning. Maybe it's because of the smiling, adorable faces of the kids (well, most of them :) ) that greet me every day or maybe it's because I have always felt that my job is making a difference in the lives of those kids that struggle in school. Whatever the reason, work has never seemed like a "have to" but more of a "want to".

Now, a bit of history for you. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mom...a stay at home, bake cookies, help at school, colour & craft, cuddle up on a rainy day, keep the house in order kind of mom. In fact, in my grade 8 speech I said that being a stay-at-home mom was what I wanted to do with my life. My mom stayed at home with us while we were growing up and I loved every minute of it! I've never doubted those desires God has placed in me.

Anyway, I think I just feel ready for that chapter of my life to start. I've been longing to stay at home in my comfy sweats, clean, bake and make sure my house is in order. I'm not all that surprised as I've always been more of a homebody; however, maybe it's more than that. Wikipedia says that the nesting instinct "may be the strongest just before the onset of labor." Hmmmm...of course I'm getting ahead of myself, but you never know...maybe a referral is just around the corner. :)

As a side note, 8 months ago today, our dossier was mailed to South Africa. Some days it feels like an eternity ago and some days it feels the time has flown by. Either way, each month that passes brings us closer to meeting our little bundle of joy.

In the meantime we could always use your prayers: for continued patience & financial provision, for our baby who we love so much already, for the social worker in South Africa (Robyn) who is working tirelessly to find families for these children and for us as we prepare.

Well, I'm off to enjoy the cozy fireplace with my husband on this cold, snowy evening!

Thanks for reading

Here's What I Know

Well, with thinking that referrals were starting again in September and not hearing anything all month, I decided that it was time to call our agency. Thankfully, I was able to get in touch with Mission of Tears on Monday and had a pleasant conversation that gave us some answers (for now).

So, here's what I know...

- Referrals will be starting again in November. There's a new policy where children need to go into a database for 60 days before they are able to be adopted internationally. I guess things didn't get going quite as quickly as they had anticipated which is the reason for the delay.

- The social worker in SA has been working very hard, as she always does, and has 12 children on the database that could be potential referrals. This was really encouraging because she has about 24 files waiting for referrals so that's a pretty good ratio.

- Our agency is hoping to send out some information this week giving us an update on the program.

- The lady I spoke with from our agency said things should be getting busy in terms of referrals as January gets closer and we head into the new year. Yeah!!

So now I breathe again for another month without wondering "will we get the call today?" As much as I want referrals to be happening now, it makes such a difference to just know a little bit of what's going on and to know things won't really be happening for another month or so. We pray for our baby girl/boy all the time and trust that God is preparing us both to meet each other.

I was really encouraged after talking to Mission of Tears and am anxiously waiting for what the next few months may hold. Realistically it could still be a a while down the road before we get a referral, but I'm daring to hope that it will be soon.

Week of Dreams

I fully believe that God can and does speak to us through dreams, but I'm not too sure about the one my mom had the other night. Here it is...

We came home from South Africa, but not with a baby...with a 48 year old man! Apparently he wasn't the most attractive looking gentleman and, at one point, was all curled up in the fetal position. Everyone was excited and asking to see her new grandchild but my mom was so embarrassed to introduce him because really, who adopts a 48 year old!! Then, all of a sudden I was holding a 4 year old girl. Her back was to my mom and as we turned around, the little girl revealed gigantic lips that hung down onto her chin. So, any interpretations?

We've had other people tell us too that they've had dreams of our adoption. Not strange dreams, just images of us with everything from a baby boy, to a 5 year old girl to a vivid dream of us with twins. Ian also had a dream that we adopted 3 First Nations kids.

I'm not sure about the meaning of all these, but as long as we don't come home with a grown man, I'll be happy!

Labor of the Heart

I am still here, believe it or not. Sorry it's been so long. There are probably a couple of reasons for that but, if I'm being honest, I just didn't feel like blogging.

It's hard to know what to write when I have no real news to share. I feel that you'll be bored listening to my emotional roller coaster ramblings, but I feel that I need to get back on track and focus this blog on our adoption. I'm sure I'll still fill you in on what else is happening in our lives, but what I really want is for this to be about our adventure of adopting.

So that said...it's been a tough (well, tougher) week for me. The waiting just hit harder than it has in a while and I must admit, a few tears were shed. It's just so hard to explain and until you're in it you just don't realize the impact it has on you...emotionally, physically, spiritually. Our lives are in limbo right now which just emphasizes the importance for us to anchor our hope and trust in Christ. It's truly the only thing that's going to get us through this time.

Lately I've been thinking that I need to get back to setting up the baby room, reading about adoption/parenting, picking baby names and getting excited about all of that. So today I went to the adoption support centre to pick up a couple of books and it felt good. We're also going to keep working on the baby room. Ian has decided to do panelling/wainscotting in there and I'll keep looking for things to make it "homey" for our amazingly adorable new addition (I just know he or she will be cute!)

One of the books I picked up today is called "Labor of the Heart". That's exactly it. This child will be born of my heart. It's amazing how this little person, who we know nothing about, has such a special place in our family already and the day can't come soon enough when we get to meet them in person.

Thanks for listening. We appreciate your support, thoughts and prayer so much!

Holidays

We've been home from holidays for about a week and a half and it's amazing how fast life just goes right back to the hustle and bustle. Ian and I both went back to work the day after we got home and wow, were we ever exhausted. Our vacation was busy, but so much fun!!

Since we only had 4 days, we wanted to get in as much as possible and that didn't leave a lot of time for sleep and rest. We also had incredibly hot and humid weather (felt like +45) which I loved, but at times it was even too hot for me. I'm definitely not complaining, though. We had a fantastic time!! It was so good to have time away, scream on the rides and spend time with each other.

Here are a few pictures...

Mickey Ears...as promised

Day 1 - Hollywood Studios

A car stunt show that we went to

Ian loved this meal! A whole pot of seafood all to himself...

Day 2 -Animal Kingdom

Everest ride

Day 3 - Magic Kingdom

I'm almost always screaming in these pictures, but Ian decided to do something

a bit different. :) (sorry it's fuzzy, but we just snapped a quick picture of the screen)

We were feeling like kids that morning and thought we'd get a picture with some characters

Day 4 - Epcot

Moroccan pavilion

Ian made me take this picture...said it was the real Nacho Libre

You may not be able to tell, but it was POURING! It rained at least once every day

but thankfully didn't last long!

Beautiful Canadian pavilion in Epcot

I had a delicious chocolate croissant at this French bakery! Mmmm...

Downtown Disney

We rented this boat called the Sea Racer, but it was far from a "racer"; think more "tugboat"

Our last night there we went to the show at Epcot which was amazing! This was taken right before we left the park after a long day.

(I just had to put the cheesy pin on our bag - it says "Happy Anniversary")

Well, that was our trip in a nutshell. We had a great time and are looking forward to our next holiday that will include bringing home our precious little baby. Many people have asked if we've heard anything, but no, unfortunately we haven't and probably won't until the referral.

In the meantime, I'm so thankful for a job that I love to keep me distracted, for great support from family & friends and for a God who loves & knows us because the wait is not getting any easier. We continue to pray, trust and enjoy the time we have together!

An evening with Michael

Last night we went to the Michael Buble concert and what an incredible show!! He's a real entertainer and really interacts with the crowd. Both Ian & I love music and to hear such a talented band and group of musicians was awesome!

The opening group was equally amazing. They were called Naturally 7 and do what's called vocal play where they do everything with their mouths...bass, guitar, drums, DJ, harmonica, trombone...it was so great!

To top it all off, Ian got us 10th row seats on the floor and we were right at the end of the row. At one point, Buble was walking down the aisles and giving hi-fives as he went by. He walked RIGHT passed us, but unfortunately missed my hand. Not wanting to let the opportunity pass by, I decided to grab...I mean pat...his shoulder. He just turned around and smiled. :) (I am laughing at myself for how this sounds, but it was pretty exciting!)

Anyway, I had a fantastic night out with Ian! We will definitely go to a concert of his again! Here are a few pictures from the night. Enjoy!

Very excited to be there!

Naturally 7

There he is!

I get a kick out of that woman's expression! I'm sure I looked much more calm than that.

Ian snapped a quick picture as he went by

It's booked!!!

We made our vacation decision and our flights are officially booked for Orlando! We're hoping to spend a few days at Disney and then possibly one at Universal Studios. We actually leave next week already, so we're super pumped!!

I also only have a week and a half left at the optometry clinic and then it's back to school right after we get back from our holiday. (To be honest, I miss the kids and am looking forward to seeing them again.) I really can't believe the summer has gone by so fast, but Ian keeps telling me that it's not over yet, so I'm going to keep enjoying every minute of it!

This is totally a side ramble, but we're also getting our driveway poured this week. I have never been so happy to see rebar and a bobcat in the yard! No more shovelling gravel for us (I mean Ian) in the winter!

Another thing I wanted to mention was that, if you have Sasktel Max, check out our friends adoption story in the Local on Demand section. You can find it under Saskatchewan Stories and it's called An Adoption Journey. What a great family! Ian & I really look forward to participating in this event next year.

That's it for now. I'll be sure to post pictures of Ian in his Mickey ears when we get back!