Happy Mothers Day!

To my beautiful wife on this Mothers Day.
Heidi, I love you!  I am blessed to wake beside you today and to share in this incredible life and journey with you.  When I think of the past few years and our journey to bring our child home, there is one word that surpasses all the pain, the joy, the hope and longing... your love!  So today I give the words from our good Lord found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous; is not proud; is not conceited; does not act foolishly; is not selfish; is not easily provoked to anger; keeps no record of wrongs; takes no pleasure in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Heidi, I know the wait is often painful and that you long to hold our child in your arms, but the way I see you hold them in your heart each day is an inspiration to my life.  When I think of the love you have for our child... a child we haven't yet met... and to think of the incredible love they will have when they are physically here... it blows me away!  I give this verse to you today to encourage you and bless you.  

Heidi, today you are my hero!  I love you and cherish you.  Thank you for loving and caring for our babe the way you do.  I am definitely a better person because of who you are and how you love.    I know as each year has passed I say the same thing, but I will say it again... your Mothers Day is coming soon.  Hang in there babe! 

Love you!  

-Ian

Still Here...Still Waiting

Just thought I'd let you all know that we're still alive!  Obviously I have not blogged in a VERY long time, but that's just the way things go sometimes.

In some ways I just want to cry when I look at this blank space - waiting for me to fill it with words.  It's a reminder that I don't have much to say in the way of our adoption.  We do know that there has been some signing of government papers, but we are still waiting for one more hurdle before the light is fully green.  We continue to pray that things move ahead soon.

The past few months have probably been some of the toughest through all this waiting - can't really say why - they just have.  Not every day is terrible, but the ache doesn't really go away.  We're always thinking of our little one and what the next day, month or year might bring.

So, besides that...life keeps ticking along.  I am definitely loving the warmer weather and can't wait for summer nights on the deck!

We are also planning for RUN 143 again and are excited to be supporting 2 more families who are on the journey of adoption!  What a great event to be a part of!  Unfortunately, I will not be running much due to my knees and lack of dedication to my physio exercises.  Ian, on the other hand, is training like crazy and will be running the entire 143km again!

That's it for now.

Thanks for the support and prayers.

We are blessed!

29 years...

Happy Birthday to my funny, smart, talented, kind, handsome, amazing husband! I love you and pray your 29th year is the best year yet!!!

Merry Christmas! (and a quick catch-up)

So, since it's been a while, I figured it might be nice to recap the past couple of months for you ...

October

• Got my wisdom teeth pulled - now that was an experience! I've still got painful, numb teeth from that wonderful appointment! On the up-side, I got to enjoy a few days at home relaxing and sipping soup.
• Started a Return to Run program (my knees were kinda shot after RUN 143 and I've been going to physio since August)
• hmmm...what else...hockey started in full swing for Ian which takes up most of our weekends. I usually go watch as it's a time to visit with the other hockey wives.
• Best of all, as I mentioned in my last post, my awesome nephew was born!

Isn't he adorable?

November

• Went to an adoption conference put on by Patricia Irwin Johnston. We both thought it was worth it and now have a few more books to read.
• Had the opportunity to share at Journeys church about our adoption as well as receive the donation from the RUN 143 fundraiser. What a blessing to be a part of this event...I'm really looking forward to next year!
• Return to Run program started to go downhill...my knees weren't liking all that running again. Ian's running, on the other hand, is going great! He's already gearing up for next year!
• Went to cut down our Christmas tree again...here's a few pics:

(notice no crazy facial hair this year!)

(We figured it was easier to just shove the tree in the back of our vehicle)

December (so far...)

• Went for x-rays for my knees - things just weren't going well! I have now stopped my running program since I've been in more pain lately and am trying to stay motivated with my physio (if anyone has tips on how to make those exercises less painfully boring, please let me know!)
• Started looking into what we need to do for our 2 year paperwork update for the adoption :(
• As it usually goes in December, we've been busy getting ready for the Christmas season - buying gifts, baking cookies, Christmas concerts, family gatherings...all that good stuff
• We've also been trying to find times of quiet and peace during this season of advent and of waiting (sometimes easier said than done)

And to give an update on baby Klassen...well...there's ups and downs in this crazy world of adoption. A couple of weeks after we got the good news that things looked like they would be moving ahead, we got the unfortunate news that Canadian immigration was still reviewing things and we would get an update within 3 months - again. So, there's been silence since that update in October. No referrals, no new news, no signs as to when things will actually get rolling along again.

What can I say? This past month has been tough on both Ian and I. There are many days when I feel like I'm barely holding it together. We continue to wait with hope - some days with joy & peace, some with heartache & longing. We love you little one!!!

I pray that you will have a wonderful Christmas celebrating His birth...that's what it's all about!

SO Thankful!

I am overflowing with thankfulness, joy and hope today. As you know we've been waiting for an update regarding all the delay's with our adoption. Well...I am so happy to say that we got our update today and referrals can now continue!!!!!!!!

I don't really know what to do with myself. Ian called me at work today to tell me the news and I just couldn't control my emotions. It was like all that aching just came pouring out and I'm sure if I was at home I would have been a blubbering mess. I pulled myself together though and went through the day in a daze of gratitude and peace.

Ian and I went out for supper to celebrate and we were talking about God's incredible faithfulness through this process. We've seen His strength & goodness on the days that are painful and now on the days of celebration. In every season...He is still God.

We are now back in a place of waiting for the "call" and although that could still be a few months away, it is just so exciting to know there will be movement in the program again. I'm already thinking of all the things I need to do in anticipation for that big day. Better get going...

Woohoo!!!

I can't believe it. I am over the moon.

p.s. My sister had a baby boy yesterday so I became a first-time auntie! We love you, Finn! You are a little miracle! :)

Ready to Write

There are so many times when I think "I really should post something on our blog" but I've got to be honest...I don't want to.

I'm so tired of trying to think of what to blog about. Sure, I could talk about what we've been up to, how life is going, how I'm feeling with all this waiting, what I'm learning, etc., but when I started this blog it was to talk about our adoption process and right now there isn't anything happening. I don't want to keep writing about how we're hangin' in there, how the difficulty comes in waves, how I have no idea what's going to happen or when. I don't know...I guess I'm just frustrated that there's nothing to update you on. I'll keep doing my best, but if I don't post something in a while it's because I just don't know what to say. I did think of something today though...

It's Sunday - and for us it means that we attend church. Oddly enough, I find that being at church has been one of the more difficult things for me for the past while.

I don't know exactly why. Sometimes I'm emotional as I sing - about God's love, faithfulness, peace & strength. Sometimes it's hard to listen to whatever the message is about as it "hits home". Sometimes it's just that aching & longing when I see everyone with their kids (even if it means taking them screaming out of the service!)

I know church is community, but I actually feel very alone a lot of the time because nobody really knows how I'm feeling. They can imagine that it's not easy to wait, but they don't really know the intensity and craziness of all the emotions involved in this process. I don't expect them to. And I'm not looking for anyone to do anything. It's just the way things are.

Today, the message was about faith - believing that God exists and that He cares enough to respond to those who seek Him. I have no doubt that God exists and I believe that He cares more about me than I could ever understand. What I'm having trouble with is continuing to pray through all of this when I feel like it's not making a difference. I know He's listening, but I'm exhausted with pouring out my heart again and again and not hearing anything or seeing any answers.

Even after all of this said, I still wouldn't trade my experience for anything. I know that I am growing in my faith, in my relationships and as a person, which I think will make me a better mom. I also know that God is good. All the time. He is faithful and He WILL answer. When, I don't know, but I will persevere in trust & hopeful anticipation.

Here's To 6 Years...

Today, August 27, we celebrated our 6 yr. anniversary. What a journey we've had!

We celebrated yesterday with a great night out together and then this morning, Ian took me for a picnic breakfast. What an incredible morning to sit by the river and start the day! Thanks babe!

The rest of the day was spent with my extended family, celebrating my grandma's 85th birthday. Being with everyone made me realize how much I miss our family gatherings and how important it is to see each other & stay connected.

It was very evident in my grandma today...the love she has for her family, the thankfulness she felt in having all of her children there and the part of her that still deeply misses my grandpa. My grandparents were a beautiful example of love to the rest of our family and I am thankful for their faithfulness to God and to each other. I hope to have many wonderful and blessed years of marriage, just as they did!

(I know grandpa's eyes are closed, but I just really like this picture of them from our wedding)

I love you Ian and I can hardly wait to see what the years ahead hold! Whatever it is, I am so thankful to have you right by my side!!