The Prayers of Kids

A few weeks ago the class I work with (gr.1) was on for chapel. I work at a Christian school and between the Gr. 1-4 classes, they take turns leading chapel.

Anyway, we were sharing about prayer and the different ways that people can talk to God. At the end, we shared a song talking about how we are not forgotten and that God knows each of our names - even the children of this world that may seem to be forgotten. The teacher I work with then asked me to share a little bit about our adoption and RUN 143 to have something personal and tangible for the kids. I was happy to have that opportunity.

So, fast forward to the following week. We broke into small groups to experience different ways of talking to God (through music, writing, speaking). Before that though, the gr.1 teacher had the kids (all 100+) of them gather around me in praying for our baby to come home!

Okay, so if any of you know me, you know that the tears flow pretty freely from these eyes of mine and all I could think was "Hold it together, Heidi. You can't fall apart in front of all these kids!" As the laid their little hands on me though and prayed their simple prayers, I was so overwhelmed with emotion!

Once they broke into the small groups, the had a chance to write down their prayers and I got to keep the ones that they wrote about us. What an incredible thing for me to hold on to. I believe children's prayers are powerful - they have unbelievable faith.

I wanted to share a few with you...

*Not sure if you can read this one. It says (word for word):

Dear God, Plese make miss closson have her baby so he is not frgotin. And he will have a good life. aman. I love you God.

Notice the little baby reaching his arms out of the basket :)

How can that picture not bring tears to my eyes?

What an honour it is to teach these kids. It makes going to work much, much easier. I am blessed!

A New Love - And The Motivation Behind It

Well here we are (It's me again - Ian). Thought I would write another post.

Running is becoming a new love. I haven't always enjoyed running but never disliked it either. I did a little more distance running when I was younger but not a lot in recent years. I'm an active guy and I love sports and athletics a lot. However, I never thought I would get addicted to running. The Run 143 event is to blame! - (for those of you who are hearing about Run 143 for the first time, go back a couple of blog postings) - oh and get involved. I began my training back in February, give or take a week or two. I started very slow and took it easy. With the pace I was at, I thought how in the world am I going to run 143km?I tried to be persistent and kept pushing through. It wasn't until around mid to end March when I started to push myself a little harder.

Here is what I call April, the victory month. Finally it began to warm up a little outside and I was drawn in. I began running around 5-6km runs a little more as part of my routine and by mid April I was doing a couple of 10km runs. I was pretty pumped! - probably looking like an idiot - but pumped nonetheless. Fast forward a little bit and here we are, first week in May and I have really surprised myself. Last Saturday, I ran my first half marathon. Honestly, I had not set out to do it that day. That was the same weekend we found out of the unfortunate news about the continued delay in our adoption process. As I was out on my run that day - I was set to do 16km - I was feeling pretty good around the 13km mark. At that point, I thought to myself, I think I could do a half marathon! Then I thought of the frustration of the news that previous day and said to myself, "I'm doing it! Take that, bad news - I'm running a half marathon"! Though that helped my motivation a bit, the running definitely wasn't easy. Nonetheless, I was able to finish it and felt some victory. Today, I ran another half marathon - and man did it ever feel better than last week. I am a lot further ahead in my training than I thought I would be at this point and I praise God for that.

I'm not telling you of this to boast or brag, but rather to tell - of what I believe - where the motivation comes from. From the beginning, even prior to the training, my motivation has remained the same. My purpose and motivation in doing all of this training for the upcoming running events, has never changed: Little babe - this is all for you! All I can think of is our precious child who is so patiently waiting for their homecoming. Last week during my run when I felt like giving in to my body and quitting , I continued to think of our awesome little babe and it gave me the motivation I needed. I kept saying to myself "I'm running to you little one, I'm coming". Though we don't know who this little one is yet, I can't and will never give up the fight. When I think of what these children have already endured and what they are going through now, all I can say is that my pain (physically and emotionally) is nothing compared to what some of them have had to endure already. When I am running I have two choices; one, to keep going or the other, to stop. Many of these children don't have a choice. This gives me the motivation I need to keep going - it's the least I can do.

There are many, many lessons that all of this running and training has been teaching me. Though I won't go through all of it right now, one quote that I've read sticks with me: "If you want to win something, run 100 meters. If you want to experience something, run a marathon." It reminds me that our adoption has both great moments and hard moments. No one said it would be an easy victory, but definitely one worth all the pain and suffering once you cross the finish line. Adoption is a very beautiful thing. Each story is different and each has an incredible journey. All of this running and training is teaching me many lessons and I am grateful for it.

One last point:

During my run this morning, there were two prominent things that came to mind. With mothers day soon approaching, one thing that laid heavy on my heart were the mothers who gave birth to the millions of orphans world wide. I can't begin to imagine some of their stories and how hard it must have been to give up their child. My heart goes out to those mothers this weekend. My heart also goes out to my beautiful wife and all the waiting mothers of this adoption journey who patiently await the arrival/meeting of their child. Bless you!

One other image that came to mind was that of a story and documentary I saw a few years back of Rick and Dick Hoyt; an incredible and inspiring story of a father who continues to live out complete love for his son in what seems almost impossible or unimaginable. I won't explain the story, but rather show this video that tells part of it. Please take a few minutes and watch. This has been my inspiration for today.

Aching

I wish I had better news to share. The truth is, my heart is aching. We found out that, once again...we will receive an update mid-JULY as to the progress of all this government "stuff." I don't really want to assume that I know what's going on anymore, but it basically means that our program continues to be at a stand still until then. It's hard to stay hopeful when you wait with baited breath for the end of the review or the next update, only to have your legs swept out from under you again and you are told to hang in there. We try to enjoy each day, but when you are so ready to welcome this child into your family...there are days when it just hurts too much.

Of course, there are things to be thankful for and to look forward to (finishing up the school year, RUN 143, summer weather, time with each other, etc.). We also know that it will "all be worth the wait" and once we see our little babe's face the painful wait will probably seem like a distant memory, but it doesn't dismiss the fact that right now it's hard. The difficulty in waiting for something that doesn't have a definite end is something we can't explain.

There are times when I don't know how or what to pray anymore. God knows my heart, He's heard my pleas and He is powerful and able to turn things around. So for now, I am choosing just to rest in knowing that He loves me. Truly loves me. Deep in my heart, I know that He has my best interests in mind even though I can't possibly understand why this all needs to be prolonged any more than it has. I will continue to cling to the peace that comes from knowing a loving God.

I found this song a couple of weeks ago and it's been a blessing to me. I find a lot of times that music has a way of speaking to me more than anything.

Thanks for thinking of us, praying for us, reading our thoughts and travelling this journey with us. We are so grateful.

Let's Get Running

Last year there was a first annual event held called RUN 143. (You may remember me writing about it.) It was a 143 mile run, from Regina to Saskatoon, to raise awareness about the staggering number of orphans in our world...approximately 143 million...one mile run for every one million orphans. It was also to raise money for a local family adopting from SA and for other organizations who advocate for orphans and children.

So this year, the running continues. We knew that we would get more involved this year, both with running and with helping to raise more awareness and funds, but we never knew the impact that it would have on us personally and on our adoption...

This year, the family who was blessed to be supported by the run last year are organizing the event. They approached us a little while ago and asked if, this year, we would be willing to be the family supported through the fundraiser. We are completely humbled and blown away by this blessing! God has been so faithful in His provision during this process. The Run and this family's generosity and hard work is helping bring our child home and making a difference in the lives of many orphans.

Words are not enough to thank our friends for this gift and honour. Not only will we be blessed by the support, but we are also excited to be raising funds for agencies both local and international who are dedicated to orphan care and adoption. We also believe it's important to continue raising awareness about the number of children in this world who need love.

So, Ian and I have started training for the event and if you know me at all, you will know that I am the most non-athlete around! I have to say though, we went out again today and I ran about 6.5 km straight (my amazing husband ran 10km)! I'm really not trying to brag, but for me, that is quite the accomplishment. We'll see how my muscles thank me tomorrow!

If you're interested in being involved in RUN 143 or would like more information...please visit www.run143.com

Have a great week everyone!

Post From The Future Dad..."Turn Down The Music"..."My Hero"

Well, I am finally putting my first post on our blog. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m not Heidi. Up until this point Heidi has been the ultimate writer for our blog - and for that I am grateful. I thought it was my turn to throw down some thoughts and stirrings, so here I am ready to blog. However, some of what I initially wanted to share in this post will have to come in later post. I have had some other stirrings of the heart as of late.

As you may have already figured from the tittle, there are two parts to this post.

Let's start with with the latter of the two...

Part 1...

..."My Hero"

The process of starting our family through adoption has been one of highs and lows, laughter and tears. It has been one that we wouldn’t trade for anything. To pray for our little one and to hold a vision of what they may look and be like has been incredible. As a future father to this beautiful child, I cherish every moment in the waiting. Through the highs and lows, I have learned much of the two most important things in my life... God and my incredible wife. And to that I have saved this post for her. I have learned that Heidi is my new Hero. Take that Spiderman! Her strength, passion, love, integrity - and let's not forget - her bodacious beauty, has truly inspired me to be a better person each day. Through our journey, I have learned so much about her and truly I am in awe. Thank you Heidi for being the loving and caring women you are. I and our little one will truly be better people because of who you are and what you do. A message to you men, cherish and love your wives with all that you are! Heidi, You are my Hero! I love you.

Part 2...

...“Turn Down The Music”

This is the title of a song written by Shane Everett and Shane Barnard - incredible song writers. If I'm honest there are actually two songs that have been on my mind lately, but I’ll stick with one for now and maybe come back to the other in another post. I’ve known and listened to this song for a little while now. It has always been a powerful song for me, but more recently, it has tugged on my heart more than usual. “Turn down the music”sends the message to literally turn “it” down - what ever “it” may be that is blinding us - and to take notice of the orphaned, the hurt, the oppressed, the sick and so much more.

As I sit here thinking of how to describe the song, I find it hard to put into words the many meanings, parallels and spirituality behind it. So, I will let the song/video speak for itself and hopefully speak to you. Just a note, the video has a speaking intro for the first couple of minutes then goes into the song. Take a few minutes, listen and watch.

A friend of mine gave a challenge this week. In our efforts to try to please and accomplish so much in life and for God we miss out on the big picture. The challenge; stop trying to accomplish the “big thing” for God, but rather let myself simply receive God’s love. I’m learning that when we do this, it really opens our eyes, our hearts and compels us to want to give it away. Turn down the music!

The Reason Why

Recently, I was reading over previous blog posts and the more I read, the more I realized that although I've talked a lot about our adoption and the ups and downs of it all, I haven't really talked about why we're choosing adoption.

So, I've decided that there's importance in people understanding the "why." From comments I've received, I know that there are people who have the wrong idea or don't really understand and that is part of why I'm doing this. I'm not expecting everyone to "get it" after writing this, but I'm hoping you'll have a better understanding of our journey and why we've chosen to start our family through adoption.

It all started almost 3 years ago now when we decided to start our family. Little did we know the journey that would be ahead of us. I don't think any couple starts out thinking that it will be a long, emotional and challenging walk to have children, but ours has been just that. As I look back now, I (and Ian) can honestly say that we wouldn't trade it for anything. Our experiences have stretched us, helped us grow and given us friends and opportunities that we would not have had otherwise.

Adoption was always something that Ian and I wanted to pursue, but we just thought it would probably come a little later in life. Our decision to choose adoption was one of prayer and discernment as well as one of confidence and incredible peace.

Let me say this: We did not choose to adopt because it was "second best". I feel that's been the assumption for some people. "Oh, they must not be able to have children." Please, put that thought aside. There is no explanation as to why we couldn't conceive, but we were faced with two options: Continue "trying" or pursue adoption. One was never better than the other and we in no way feel like we are "missing out"or that this child will not be our own. I truly felt at peace when we took the plunge into international adoption and I know that peace could've only come from God. I felt new hope.

There are moments when I can tell that people are hesitant to tell me they are pregnant or to talk about others being pregnant. Please know that I do not feel sad hearing about these things. Yes, it's difficult sometimes to watch so many moms around me, but it's because I long to be a mom, not to be pregnant.

The joy that I feel in building our family through adoption and waiting for our precious baby is one that I wish more could experience. It is unlike anything I could ever explain. I honestly still can't believe that we are actually on this journey...one that I would do all over again given the choice.

We are adopting because there is a stirring in our hearts to bring a child into our family who otherwise would not have a family. Please understand that we are not out to save a child...we feel that there is a child out there that needs us as much as much as we need them. What a powerful thing it has been to pray for our child who we have never met, but one that we love so deeply already. They will be our own and we will be their forever family. What a gift that is!

Ultimately, this is something God has laid on our hearts and we can look back now and see how He has orchestrated so many events leading up to this point in our lives. We can hardly wait for the adventure that is ahead of us!

To our baby,

We love you, we're praying for you and we think of you always!

What's New

Okay, so not much is really new, but I thought I'd give you a quick "what we've been up to lately"

A couple of weeks ago, we were told we would have to update our fingerprint and criminal record checks. We took this as a positive sign because at least they are making sure all files are up to date and to be honest, it was nice to have something to do. After sitting around for so long waiting, I actually welcomed the errands and bits of paperwork. Hard to believe that we first did all of that over a year ago!

I also got a new cupcake book recently and had some fun the other day trying out my first recipe. I really enjoyed it and I think all the more because they actually turned out! Here's a little look...

I have some things on my heart to share as well and hopefully will have time in the near future to sit down and write. Until then...have a great day!