Aching

I wish I had better news to share. The truth is, my heart is aching. We found out that, once again...we will receive an update mid-JULY as to the progress of all this government "stuff." I don't really want to assume that I know what's going on anymore, but it basically means that our program continues to be at a stand still until then. It's hard to stay hopeful when you wait with baited breath for the end of the review or the next update, only to have your legs swept out from under you again and you are told to hang in there. We try to enjoy each day, but when you are so ready to welcome this child into your family...there are days when it just hurts too much.

Of course, there are things to be thankful for and to look forward to (finishing up the school year, RUN 143, summer weather, time with each other, etc.). We also know that it will "all be worth the wait" and once we see our little babe's face the painful wait will probably seem like a distant memory, but it doesn't dismiss the fact that right now it's hard. The difficulty in waiting for something that doesn't have a definite end is something we can't explain.

There are times when I don't know how or what to pray anymore. God knows my heart, He's heard my pleas and He is powerful and able to turn things around. So for now, I am choosing just to rest in knowing that He loves me. Truly loves me. Deep in my heart, I know that He has my best interests in mind even though I can't possibly understand why this all needs to be prolonged any more than it has. I will continue to cling to the peace that comes from knowing a loving God.

I found this song a couple of weeks ago and it's been a blessing to me. I find a lot of times that music has a way of speaking to me more than anything.

Thanks for thinking of us, praying for us, reading our thoughts and travelling this journey with us. We are so grateful.

Let's Get Running

Last year there was a first annual event held called RUN 143. (You may remember me writing about it.) It was a 143 mile run, from Regina to Saskatoon, to raise awareness about the staggering number of orphans in our world...approximately 143 million...one mile run for every one million orphans. It was also to raise money for a local family adopting from SA and for other organizations who advocate for orphans and children.

So this year, the running continues. We knew that we would get more involved this year, both with running and with helping to raise more awareness and funds, but we never knew the impact that it would have on us personally and on our adoption...

This year, the family who was blessed to be supported by the run last year are organizing the event. They approached us a little while ago and asked if, this year, we would be willing to be the family supported through the fundraiser. We are completely humbled and blown away by this blessing! God has been so faithful in His provision during this process. The Run and this family's generosity and hard work is helping bring our child home and making a difference in the lives of many orphans.

Words are not enough to thank our friends for this gift and honour. Not only will we be blessed by the support, but we are also excited to be raising funds for agencies both local and international who are dedicated to orphan care and adoption. We also believe it's important to continue raising awareness about the number of children in this world who need love.

So, Ian and I have started training for the event and if you know me at all, you will know that I am the most non-athlete around! I have to say though, we went out again today and I ran about 6.5 km straight (my amazing husband ran 10km)! I'm really not trying to brag, but for me, that is quite the accomplishment. We'll see how my muscles thank me tomorrow!

If you're interested in being involved in RUN 143 or would like more information...please visit www.run143.com

Have a great week everyone!

Post From The Future Dad..."Turn Down The Music"..."My Hero"

Well, I am finally putting my first post on our blog. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m not Heidi. Up until this point Heidi has been the ultimate writer for our blog - and for that I am grateful. I thought it was my turn to throw down some thoughts and stirrings, so here I am ready to blog. However, some of what I initially wanted to share in this post will have to come in later post. I have had some other stirrings of the heart as of late.

As you may have already figured from the tittle, there are two parts to this post.

Let's start with with the latter of the two...

Part 1...

..."My Hero"

The process of starting our family through adoption has been one of highs and lows, laughter and tears. It has been one that we wouldn’t trade for anything. To pray for our little one and to hold a vision of what they may look and be like has been incredible. As a future father to this beautiful child, I cherish every moment in the waiting. Through the highs and lows, I have learned much of the two most important things in my life... God and my incredible wife. And to that I have saved this post for her. I have learned that Heidi is my new Hero. Take that Spiderman! Her strength, passion, love, integrity - and let's not forget - her bodacious beauty, has truly inspired me to be a better person each day. Through our journey, I have learned so much about her and truly I am in awe. Thank you Heidi for being the loving and caring women you are. I and our little one will truly be better people because of who you are and what you do. A message to you men, cherish and love your wives with all that you are! Heidi, You are my Hero! I love you.

Part 2...

...“Turn Down The Music”

This is the title of a song written by Shane Everett and Shane Barnard - incredible song writers. If I'm honest there are actually two songs that have been on my mind lately, but I’ll stick with one for now and maybe come back to the other in another post. I’ve known and listened to this song for a little while now. It has always been a powerful song for me, but more recently, it has tugged on my heart more than usual. “Turn down the music”sends the message to literally turn “it” down - what ever “it” may be that is blinding us - and to take notice of the orphaned, the hurt, the oppressed, the sick and so much more.

As I sit here thinking of how to describe the song, I find it hard to put into words the many meanings, parallels and spirituality behind it. So, I will let the song/video speak for itself and hopefully speak to you. Just a note, the video has a speaking intro for the first couple of minutes then goes into the song. Take a few minutes, listen and watch.

A friend of mine gave a challenge this week. In our efforts to try to please and accomplish so much in life and for God we miss out on the big picture. The challenge; stop trying to accomplish the “big thing” for God, but rather let myself simply receive God’s love. I’m learning that when we do this, it really opens our eyes, our hearts and compels us to want to give it away. Turn down the music!

The Reason Why

Recently, I was reading over previous blog posts and the more I read, the more I realized that although I've talked a lot about our adoption and the ups and downs of it all, I haven't really talked about why we're choosing adoption.

So, I've decided that there's importance in people understanding the "why." From comments I've received, I know that there are people who have the wrong idea or don't really understand and that is part of why I'm doing this. I'm not expecting everyone to "get it" after writing this, but I'm hoping you'll have a better understanding of our journey and why we've chosen to start our family through adoption.

It all started almost 3 years ago now when we decided to start our family. Little did we know the journey that would be ahead of us. I don't think any couple starts out thinking that it will be a long, emotional and challenging walk to have children, but ours has been just that. As I look back now, I (and Ian) can honestly say that we wouldn't trade it for anything. Our experiences have stretched us, helped us grow and given us friends and opportunities that we would not have had otherwise.

Adoption was always something that Ian and I wanted to pursue, but we just thought it would probably come a little later in life. Our decision to choose adoption was one of prayer and discernment as well as one of confidence and incredible peace.

Let me say this: We did not choose to adopt because it was "second best". I feel that's been the assumption for some people. "Oh, they must not be able to have children." Please, put that thought aside. There is no explanation as to why we couldn't conceive, but we were faced with two options: Continue "trying" or pursue adoption. One was never better than the other and we in no way feel like we are "missing out"or that this child will not be our own. I truly felt at peace when we took the plunge into international adoption and I know that peace could've only come from God. I felt new hope.

There are moments when I can tell that people are hesitant to tell me they are pregnant or to talk about others being pregnant. Please know that I do not feel sad hearing about these things. Yes, it's difficult sometimes to watch so many moms around me, but it's because I long to be a mom, not to be pregnant.

The joy that I feel in building our family through adoption and waiting for our precious baby is one that I wish more could experience. It is unlike anything I could ever explain. I honestly still can't believe that we are actually on this journey...one that I would do all over again given the choice.

We are adopting because there is a stirring in our hearts to bring a child into our family who otherwise would not have a family. Please understand that we are not out to save a child...we feel that there is a child out there that needs us as much as much as we need them. What a powerful thing it has been to pray for our child who we have never met, but one that we love so deeply already. They will be our own and we will be their forever family. What a gift that is!

Ultimately, this is something God has laid on our hearts and we can look back now and see how He has orchestrated so many events leading up to this point in our lives. We can hardly wait for the adventure that is ahead of us!

To our baby,

We love you, we're praying for you and we think of you always!

What's New

Okay, so not much is really new, but I thought I'd give you a quick "what we've been up to lately"

A couple of weeks ago, we were told we would have to update our fingerprint and criminal record checks. We took this as a positive sign because at least they are making sure all files are up to date and to be honest, it was nice to have something to do. After sitting around for so long waiting, I actually welcomed the errands and bits of paperwork. Hard to believe that we first did all of that over a year ago!

I also got a new cupcake book recently and had some fun the other day trying out my first recipe. I really enjoyed it and I think all the more because they actually turned out! Here's a little look...

I have some things on my heart to share as well and hopefully will have time in the near future to sit down and write. Until then...have a great day!

Fun in the Sun

What a difference in weather from last week! We really needed this sunshine and warmer weather.

The morning started off great. We went to another church this morning to see the Watoto Children's Choir and were blessed by their music and stories. It was also great to visit with one of the families we've been able to get to know through this process. What a beautiful family they have!

After some relaxation this afternoon, we headed outside again to enjoy the sunshine. It was so nice to feel the sun on my face as we walked!

Enjoy the pictures!

We went for a walk near the new development and the zoo close to our house

Ian just can't resist the snow

Perfect snowman building weather

We were slightly embarrassed about posing for this picture because I'm pretty sure the neighbours were watching.

Our little "watchdog"

Kids at Heart

The other day Ian and I decided enough was enough. We were going to try to enjoy the snow and cold. *In case you didn't know, we've been living in a deep freeze for the last...oh...I don't know...forever?* Seriously, it's just been really cold (like - 40C cold) for the last week or so.

Anyway, we put on our layers of gear and headed out for a walk. Back at home, we decided to see how deep the snow really was...

This is in our backyard!

Ian decided it was easier to army crawl instead of walk through :)

The front yard pile...

action shot

It was a good afternoon