High's & Low's

So. Here we are, 2011. A year that we hope and trust will bring us the joy of a child.

My emotions are all over the place (as they have been for the past while!). I have moments where I'm feeling quite positive about the whole process. We have awesome support, a great agency, time for just the 2 of us and we feel incredibly blessed to have this opportunity to adopt. There are days though (and more of them lately) where I just want to curl up and sob. This waiting is stinkin' hard and to be positive ALL the time is nearly impossible. I try, I really do, but even as I sit here, the tears are flowing. We're done with waiting. We want to start our family. How long is this going to take?

I don't know what else to say right now, but please keep praying for us. As a bit of an update...the Canadian Immigration & Custom's department in S.A. is doing an audited review of the adoption process in S.A. We don't know exactly why they are doing the review, but apparently this happens in many of the international adoption programs. The review is supposed to be over sometime around the end of Jan. so please pray hard that anything negative that could come as a result of the review, doesn't. I believe and trust in a God bigger than the government and their "agenda."

Sorry for the not-so-cheery post, but I thought I should be honest.

I hope you are all having a great start to the New Year and I hope to be able to share good news with you soon.

What Are We Waiting For?

This has been the title of the last few sermons at our church and it's really got me thinking - often in many different directions.

This adoption process is obviously one of waiting. Waiting for paperwork. Waiting for people to return emails or phone calls. Waiting for news & updates. Waiting for a referral. Every part of the process involves a period of waiting and anticipation. Although the wait has been difficult, it's also been a wait full of excitement and anticipation of what's to come. We know that we will have a beautiful son or daughter and we dream of the times that we'll be able to share as a family.

I guess what's got me thinking is how and what am I waiting for during this season of advent. Christmas is about Christ coming to earth as a baby, growing up to die which allows us to have a relationship with Him and then returning one day to take His followers home. Do I wait with the same excitement & anticipation for these things? As I wait for Christmas day to come am I thinking about the baby that was born in a manger or am I too preoccupied with gift giving, baking, Christmas parties and family gatherings? Don't get me wrong...I think these are good things, but they are not the most important.

I guess what I want is to wait with the same joy, longing and excitement for the celebration of Christ's birth and return to earth as I do with waiting to meet our baby. I'm not sure exactly how that looks like yet, but the wheels in my head are turning. In the same way I don't wait passively for our baby - we get the nursery ready, pick out names and talk about it constantly - I should not be waiting passively for Christ to come back to earth.

I don’t know if all of this will make sense but thanks for reading. I pray that you will anticipate this season with joy and excitement because there is lots to celebrate and even more to look forward to in the days to come.

Come thou long expected Jesus

Born to set thy people free

From our fears and sins release us

Let us find our rest in thee

Warning: Impressive Facial Hair Ahead

Last year, when we were driving back from Regina after meeting with Social Services regarding our adoption, we found a tree farm. Neither of us were dressed to go cut down a Christmas tree, but we were so excited about getting the go-ahead to start our home study, we thought "why not?"

It was a great tree and a fun experience, so we decided to do it again this year. This time, with ski pants, toques, mitts, boots and most importantly, great friends we headed out to find our tree. Here are a few pictures of the morning

**(Please ignore Ian's facial hair. It was partly Movember and partly a thing going on with the guys at work...thankfully, it only lasted a day, but we have pictures to last us a lifetime!)

Off to find our tree

Fun in the snow with a great little girl

Posing with our tree

(doesn't the facial hair just make the picture!)

We got it!

I'm not quite as strong

Packed up and ready to go home

On another note, I recently spoke with our agency to clear up some questions I had and was so reassured of their dedication, commitment and care for the families involved in their agency. I felt like I was known, not just a number.

I feel so blessed to be starting our family through adoption. I could not and would not want to have it any other way. I have been stretched, challenged and enriched through this past year and it's been worth every minute. God is good and I continue to marvel at this opportunity that He's given us!

I pray that you are all enjoying this Christmas season and taking time to rest and relish in the beauty of it all!

progress

I apologize to those of you that check regularly to see if I've blogged. I realize I've let you down many times! Again, no excuses...just a lack of motivation.

So, now onto those promised pictures of the somewhat slow progress of the baby room. I have ideas of what I want to do in the room, but just need to get them into action!

Anyway, this is what it looked like before:

It looked fine, but Ian had a great idea to spice things up a bit.

So, with a little bit of work...

(It was a Rider game day so of course, the jersey must be worn...even while working!)

We ended up with this! I think my amazing husband did and incredible job!!

There are still lots of things to do to get everything ready for the baby, but I'm pretty excited about how this project turned out.

On the adoption front, we're anxiously waiting to hear of the first referral in a LONG time! Our agency said things would get rolling again the end of November and here we are, almost December. We were also told that there is a good chance there will be 1 or 2 referrals before Christmas and that things should get busier in the new year. That was good news to me!

Another positive note is that our agency has opened a baby home in Durban and the first few babies have already arrived there. MOT works so hard to care for these babies and the home will hopefully allow them to be place with their forever families at a younger age.

So that's what's new right now. We keep praying that the new year holds some good news for us. I love the Christmas season and am really trying just to soak it all in and remember why we celebrate. I have SO much to be thankful for! We also feel so blessed to have the encouragement and support that we do. Know that your prayer, love and support is noticed!

To all my fellow waiting families...I'm thinking of you and praying for you often! Love and hugs to you all.

Adopt Walk

Yesterday we participated in the first annual SaskAdopt Walk and had a great time! The event was held to raise awareness of adoption and to raise money for the Adoption Support Centre of Saskatchewan.

Then, later in the day we got together for supper with the families from South Africa. To all of you families..."Thanks for the visit! We appreciate you all very much!" Thanks also to Riley & Candra for hosting!

Here's a news clip of the event which includes an interview of one of the families we are blessed to know. (See if you can spot us in the background of one of the clips...Ian's beard will give us away!)

http://www.globalsaskatoon.com/video/index.html (go to Nov.13 evening news)

That's it for now...

**Coming soon - baby room wainscotting pictures!**

November

Believe it or not, I've been meaning to blog for the past week! Finally, I had a moment to put down my thoughts.

I've been looking forward to November coming and now, all of a sudden, we're into the second week already! This means it's that much closer to the end of Nov. which bring us to referral time! I can hardly wait to start hearing of referrals again...even if it's not ours. It's been so quiet for the past few months (no referrals since May) and I'm anxious to hear of kids being joined with their forever families.

November is also Adoption Awareness Month. In fact, this weekend Ian and I are participating in the first ever SaskAdopt Walk. We have a team of families from South Africa and I'm looking forward to visiting with these great families again and walking for a great cause.

November also brings "No Shave November" at work (for Ian...not me). He suggested the other day that maybe he should keep it growing until we get a referral. I politely told him that would not be the best idea. At the rate his facial grows, I might be able to braid it by the end and I'm pretty sure that neither of us would be too pumped about that!

The other day I was reading a fellow waiting family's blog and this video brought me to tears. I just had to post it (Shanie, I hope you don't mind). I often wonder what that moment will be like when we meet our child. We're definitely awaiting it with great anticipation! After watching this video, it confirmed again for me that adoption is God's plan and that Ian and I feel called to grow our family in this way. My heart is already full of love for our baby.

So, if you're anything like me, I would suggest you grab the nearest box of tissues and enjoy this family's story.

Mommyhood

I've been having the HARDEST time wanting to go to work lately. That's unusual for me because I honestly love my job and have often looked forward to going to work in the morning. Maybe it's because of the smiling, adorable faces of the kids (well, most of them :) ) that greet me every day or maybe it's because I have always felt that my job is making a difference in the lives of those kids that struggle in school. Whatever the reason, work has never seemed like a "have to" but more of a "want to".

Now, a bit of history for you. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mom...a stay at home, bake cookies, help at school, colour & craft, cuddle up on a rainy day, keep the house in order kind of mom. In fact, in my grade 8 speech I said that being a stay-at-home mom was what I wanted to do with my life. My mom stayed at home with us while we were growing up and I loved every minute of it! I've never doubted those desires God has placed in me.

Anyway, I think I just feel ready for that chapter of my life to start. I've been longing to stay at home in my comfy sweats, clean, bake and make sure my house is in order. I'm not all that surprised as I've always been more of a homebody; however, maybe it's more than that. Wikipedia says that the nesting instinct "may be the strongest just before the onset of labor." Hmmmm...of course I'm getting ahead of myself, but you never know...maybe a referral is just around the corner. :)

As a side note, 8 months ago today, our dossier was mailed to South Africa. Some days it feels like an eternity ago and some days it feels the time has flown by. Either way, each month that passes brings us closer to meeting our little bundle of joy.

In the meantime we could always use your prayers: for continued patience & financial provision, for our baby who we love so much already, for the social worker in South Africa (Robyn) who is working tirelessly to find families for these children and for us as we prepare.

Well, I'm off to enjoy the cozy fireplace with my husband on this cold, snowy evening!

Thanks for reading