On My Knees

I wanted to post tonight and ask you to pray. 

There are some very important decisions that, from what we understand, could be made in the next few days.  Paperwork will be submitted that will have a profound affect on families and children in this program.

I don't know what else to do but pray
...for the little ones that so desperately need their moms and dads
...for the families that have referrals and are anxiously waiting to hear when they can finally bring their little one home
...for the families without referrals that are longing to see that sweet face they dream about
...for the "higher ups" involved to have soft hearts, to make wise decisions and to truly have the children's best interests in mind
...for God's power to be shown and His hand to continually be at work in this program

When I feel like I have nothing left in me to pray, I have come to rely on others to go before Him on our behalf.  Thank you for praying with us. 

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Merry Christmas everybody!

Just a quick post for the Christmas season

Well, we were really hoping for some encouraging news/update and perhaps even an early Christmas gift this year, but once again it comes with more delays.  We did get an update from our agency, but there wasn't a whole lot of new info.  There are a couple of dates set for earlier in the new year that will hopefully help solidify more of the process, but at this point nothing has changed regarding the delay.  So without going into further details, I’ll keep it as short and sweet as that. 

Yes, we and other families in waiting (along with family, friends and many of you) were truly hoping for greater news this Christmas - anticipating the end of the delay and soon bringing these children home.  Once again our little guy or girl isn’t here with us and their spot around the tree remains empty.  The past few years we’ve put their stocking up at the fireplace along with ours and once again it remains empty.  There is a void in our hearts as we long for that day; however, we are grateful for friends and family to spend the holidays with.

So with that said, that’s it for an update.  We wish they were here with us this Christmas, but we know and trust that day will soon come.  We put their stocking up again but thought we’d put something in it after all.  We also put a candle above it to represent our baby.  On Christmas morning we will light it as a symbol they are here with us.  (pic below)     

Merry Christmas everybody.  God bless!
Merry Christmas little one.  We love you!

-Ian

A Macho Thing...

Ian here.  I don't typically post on our blog as much as my wife does.  In fact it seems quite typical that in most adoption type blogs such as this, it's usually the female gender that writes.  I guess it's a macho thing or something.  We just don't like to 'share our feelings' I guess.  I don't  know - maybe its just easier to grunt and flex our muscles!   What I do know is that today I break that mold - at least for a moment - just to briefly share my heart.  Yes, guys/dads do have this inside of them.  I know we all know it, but for some reason our world seems to want to hide it.  But not today... not this guy.  Okay, okay, I'm setting myself up here.  It's not that dramatic, just a few words.  Anyway here's my post...

My heart cries out today!  It longs - overwhelmingly - for our child.  This is reality for waiting moms  - and dads, but this morning it hit hard.  Maybe it's just one of those days.  Or maybe its an extension of emotion from sharing our hearts with friends last night.  I don't know.  What I do know is that today, I intensely miss and long for our son or daughter.  It's as simple as that! 
I don't have much more to say - its that macho thing kicking in again.  So I keep this short and leave with these final words to our sweet babe...

...son or daughter,  I leave you with this today: I love you.  I picture you everyday - your smile, your cry, your laughter, your warmth, you running around the yard, throwing the ball around, shoot'n hoops or taking shots at the net, playing with dolls, hiking in the woods - experiencing the great outdoors, loving Jesus, reading stories with you and mom, singing songs, discovering new things, playing with mom, and of course hearing you say "I love you dad".  Hang in there little one, we're coming soon.  Love you!

If you have a couple minutes, watch this video.  Orphan Sunday is coming up on November 4th and this is just one way to be part of their lives.   click on the link:  http://vimeo.com/41789537

One last thing... Happy birthday to my stellar nephew on his first birthday!  See you later at the party little buddy. 

60 days

You would think that after 60 days off of work, I would be ready to "get back at it" and have a routine again, but you could not be more wrong. 
I was so fortunate to be able to take the summer off and have thoroughly enjoyed every minute of schedule-less days, being with friends and family, reading, soaking up the sun, camping, sleeping in, etc.  It was such a great summer.  To give you a quick recap...

We were blessed again to be part of RUN143 and what an incredible time!  Ian and I both completed the entire distance, although I can't even come close to his athletic ability.  He ran the entire distance, where I ran/walked/hobbled/biked - whatever I had to do to finish.  Once again we met amazing people, supported 2 crazy awesome families and raised lots of money for orphan care and adoption.  If you want more information about this event, visit www.run143.com

 The sign that followed us the entire journey

 Group photo after day 2

 Our awesome families!

At the end of July, I was able to go for a weekend away with my mom and sisters to Edmonton.  It's an annual event for us and I love it!

Look at those beauties! 

Okay, seriously...where did August go?  It flew by, but was a great month!  Ian took time off and we went to Kananaskis/Banff for 10 days.  We haven't had a vacation that long in a few years and it was SO needed.  The first part of our trip was spent camping in Kananaskis.  We spent most of our time hiking or sitting around the fire.  Ahhh...I want to go back!

 View walking to our campsite

 Hiking

 more hiking...

This was the beautiful lake we hiked around - 16km later and I was feeling it!  

The second part of our trip was spent camping in Banff.   We spent time hiking, strolling the streets of Banff, eating delicious goodies and facing one of my fears...white water rafting!!  After many comments of "You're going to love it!"  and "It will be so much fun" from my dear husband, I finally gave in...and he was right...I loved it!!  We went with a great company that goes down the Kicking Horse River and had such a great time.  I would even go again :)

 Floating down the river

 I got such a mouthful of water through the first rapid, I made sure that didn't happen again!

 

 After our trip down the river - we wore so many layers because the water was only about 4' C!

 

 Hiking at Johnston Canyon - Don't you just love this guy's water bottle belt clip?!  So handy! Too bad I forgot mine :)

Johnston Canyon (above & below)

 

 Can you find what's wrong with this picture?

 Lake Louise Tea House hike 

(which Ian decided to run after we had finished our hike!  Seriously!!  I am in awe.)

I told you we had delicious goodies!

Last night in Banff

Before we headed home, we stayed a couple of nights in Calgary to shop and relax some more.  It was such a great trip and as always, we were sad to see it end.

So, that brings me to the reason I started this blog - our adoption.  I thought the summer would be a good time to reflect on our situation, pray through things and really have peace about what is going on, but I almost felt as if I was trying to push it out of my mind. 

Don't get me wrong! We have been busy writing letters, advocating, making phone calls and fighting as much as we can to bring all these kids home.  I thought about and prayed for our baby every day.  What I didn't do is dwell on it and really face it.  I didn't want to let myself go there, but maybe that's okay?  Maybe the summer wasn't supposed to look a certain way and maybe I just needed to enjoy each day.

Now, work starts tomorrow.  I don't feel ready to be busy again.  I've needed this time to just "be" and I feel like I need more time. This is such a time of stretching for me.  My heart is in pieces, I feel weak and I'm trying to live with the joy of the Lord (as cliche as that sounds).  I am SO thankful for my incredible husband.  Yesterday we celebrated 7 years and I realized once again how blessed I really am; for a husband who loves me and our baby, is a leader for our family, who I feel supported and encouraged by and who loves to have fun.  I would not want to be walking this road without him.  

Whether I like it or not, life moves forward.  I know in my heart that I am not facing the days ahead alone, but today I don't feel ready to face anything.  I am sure of this though: my God loves me and our little one in South Africa and I will choose to trust Him - even if that means minute by minute.  He will be faithful.

Thanks for sticking with us. 

Really?!...A Quick Update

I'm sure there are many of you (at least the ones we aren't able to visit with regularly!) who are wondering where things are at.  It would be great if I could share exciting news, but...here we are again...
We got an update this week saying that once again CIC (immigration) is delaying their review for another 3 months.  REALLY?

Yep, really.

So, we are taking action.  We have written letters and will be sending many letters to as many people in power as possible.  Thankfully there are a number of other families who are also sending letters and hopefully we can get the attention of someone.  We need to advocate for our little ones who are waiting.

There's a lot I feel like I could say about this - but I won't at this time.  We are frustrated and pained beyond belief sometimes...but we also have hope in the One who started us down this journey.  We're not giving up yet.

I believe that there is strength in numbers and many of you have asked how can help - so, if you're interested in advocating for/with us, email us (ianandheidi7@hotmail.com) or leave a comment with your email.  We'll send you the letter and info. of who to contact/send the letter to.  There's not anything you really need to do except send the letter.  Everything is already written.

Thank you for all your prayers, encouragement and support.  We are continually humbled.

I recently finished a book called One Thousand Gifts.  It's got some good stuff.  Hard stuff, but good.  I'm not even really sure how to describe the book...it's so full of lessons, challenges and deep thoughts - about giving thanks, fully living no matter where you are, not negating the feelings of sorrow and pain, but seeing God in it all.  Anyway, I'm rambling.  I'll leave you with some thoughts from the book...

"Every time fear freezes and worry writhes, every time I surrender to stress, aren't I advertising the unreliability of God?  That I really don't believe?  But if I'm grateful to the Bridge Builder for the crossing of a million strong bridges, thankful for a million faithful moments, my life speaks my beliefs and I trust Him again."

Happy Mothers Day!

To my beautiful wife on this Mothers Day.
Heidi, I love you!  I am blessed to wake beside you today and to share in this incredible life and journey with you.  When I think of the past few years and our journey to bring our child home, there is one word that surpasses all the pain, the joy, the hope and longing... your love!  So today I give the words from our good Lord found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous; is not proud; is not conceited; does not act foolishly; is not selfish; is not easily provoked to anger; keeps no record of wrongs; takes no pleasure in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Heidi, I know the wait is often painful and that you long to hold our child in your arms, but the way I see you hold them in your heart each day is an inspiration to my life.  When I think of the love you have for our child... a child we haven't yet met... and to think of the incredible love they will have when they are physically here... it blows me away!  I give this verse to you today to encourage you and bless you.  

Heidi, today you are my hero!  I love you and cherish you.  Thank you for loving and caring for our babe the way you do.  I am definitely a better person because of who you are and how you love.    I know as each year has passed I say the same thing, but I will say it again... your Mothers Day is coming soon.  Hang in there babe! 

Love you!  

-Ian

Still Here...Still Waiting

Just thought I'd let you all know that we're still alive!  Obviously I have not blogged in a VERY long time, but that's just the way things go sometimes.

In some ways I just want to cry when I look at this blank space - waiting for me to fill it with words.  It's a reminder that I don't have much to say in the way of our adoption.  We do know that there has been some signing of government papers, but we are still waiting for one more hurdle before the light is fully green.  We continue to pray that things move ahead soon.

The past few months have probably been some of the toughest through all this waiting - can't really say why - they just have.  Not every day is terrible, but the ache doesn't really go away.  We're always thinking of our little one and what the next day, month or year might bring.

So, besides that...life keeps ticking along.  I am definitely loving the warmer weather and can't wait for summer nights on the deck!

We are also planning for RUN 143 again and are excited to be supporting 2 more families who are on the journey of adoption!  What a great event to be a part of!  Unfortunately, I will not be running much due to my knees and lack of dedication to my physio exercises.  Ian, on the other hand, is training like crazy and will be running the entire 143km again!

That's it for now.

Thanks for the support and prayers.

We are blessed!