Kids at Heart

The other day Ian and I decided enough was enough. We were going to try to enjoy the snow and cold. *In case you didn't know, we've been living in a deep freeze for the last...oh...I don't know...forever?* Seriously, it's just been really cold (like - 40C cold) for the last week or so.

Anyway, we put on our layers of gear and headed out for a walk. Back at home, we decided to see how deep the snow really was...

This is in our backyard!

Ian decided it was easier to army crawl instead of walk through :)

The front yard pile...

action shot

It was a good afternoon

365

One year ago today, our dossier was mailed off to South Africa.

15 months ago, we started this whole journey of adopting.

I had no idea what we were in for and although it's been more difficult than I probably imagined, I would make the same decisions all over again. Choosing to start our family through adoption is a beautiful thing and I'm grateful for this journey.

In other news, I'm at the end of a week off from school and although the break has been nice, I've also been sick the whole time. Bummer. Isn't that how it usually works though? Before the break, I thought..."Oh, I would just love one sick day at home to lie on the couch, read my book and sleep in". Well, I got many of those days over the holiday and now I'm just about back to my healthy self. Just in time to go back to work. :) Ah well, I miss the kids so I guess I'm ready to go back.

I feel like I have more to write, but I'm just not sure what right now. I'll have to save it for another day when my thoughts are more organized. For now, I'm going to go enjoy some time to read quietly by the fire on this cold, cold day.

Unknown

We're just past the 11 month mark of waiting for a referral and it looks like it we're going to pass a year.

We got an update from our agency yesterday and my heart sank. We've all been waiting to hear an update and what we heard was...we'll get another update in two months. Another 2 months!!!

I don't know what to say.

I'm feeling frustrated, sad, angry and weary. I don't understand.

All these families waiting. All the children waiting. My heart is breaking for them.

I'm out of words.

"The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit."

~ Psalm 34:17-18

Out of the Mouths of Babes

For Christmas I got this necklace as a gift from my parents. I have worn it everyday since and I'm sure you can see why.

A few weeks ago, one of the Gr. 1 students I work with asked me why I was wearing it. This boy is especially curious. I told him the gr. 1 version of what this necklace meant to me. He had a couple of questions, but the conversation didn't go far.

Yesterday though, we had this conversation...

Student (in his little German accent): Mrs. Klassen, how many days until you get your baby?

Me: I'm not sure.

S: Well, do you have a dad? And a mom?

M: Yes

S: Maybe you should ask them?

M: They don't know either. Only God knows. (It's a Christian school so God is talked about freely)

S: Well, when my mom leaves my room, I open my window and I ask God things and he gives them to me.

M: So you think I should ask God how many days?

S: Yeah, maybe he'll tell you "one week"

*My heart was melting*

We actually had about a 10 minute conversation about adoption and our baby. He was so inquisitive and wanted to know things like...

- who would look after our baby? - because I obviously had to be at work (he suggested my dad)

- how many babies were there in Africa?

- how many babies were we going to bring home? (he thought maybe 100)

- what would happen to the other babies that we didn't bring home? (he was very sad to learn that some of them might grow up without a mom or dad)

I was so touched by our conversation and at the sincerity and innocence of it all. Children have an interesting perspective which is part of why I love my job so much. There was something about his matter-of-fact faith. Ask God...He'll answer. Why do our adult minds make that such a difficult thing? Why does doubt seem to creep in so easily?

So, do I dare ask God how many days until we meet our baby?

Maybe He'll tell me "one week".

Wouldn't that be amazing!

Newest Addition...

... to the baby room! :)

I just thought I'd share a bit more of the baby room. We finally got a rocking chair. I was looking for something a bit different than what is usually out there and I really liked the look of this one. I still need to get a cushion for it, but I'm very indecisive (I still even debate whether I picked the right chair!) so I haven't quite found one yet. Anyway, here it is!

Next up, the change table.

Other than that, I have no updates. Hopefully this week we'll hear some news about the audit/review. We got a bit of an update last weekend from the agency, but it really wasn't anything we hadn't heard already. They said they are confident that ultimately things will return to normal, so I'm trying to stay positive.

Well, Sunday afternoons are my days to relax and sit by the fire and since it's -40 outside with the wind, the fire is sounding especially great right now. Take care everyone and have a great week!

High's & Low's

So. Here we are, 2011. A year that we hope and trust will bring us the joy of a child.

My emotions are all over the place (as they have been for the past while!). I have moments where I'm feeling quite positive about the whole process. We have awesome support, a great agency, time for just the 2 of us and we feel incredibly blessed to have this opportunity to adopt. There are days though (and more of them lately) where I just want to curl up and sob. This waiting is stinkin' hard and to be positive ALL the time is nearly impossible. I try, I really do, but even as I sit here, the tears are flowing. We're done with waiting. We want to start our family. How long is this going to take?

I don't know what else to say right now, but please keep praying for us. As a bit of an update...the Canadian Immigration & Custom's department in S.A. is doing an audited review of the adoption process in S.A. We don't know exactly why they are doing the review, but apparently this happens in many of the international adoption programs. The review is supposed to be over sometime around the end of Jan. so please pray hard that anything negative that could come as a result of the review, doesn't. I believe and trust in a God bigger than the government and their "agenda."

Sorry for the not-so-cheery post, but I thought I should be honest.

I hope you are all having a great start to the New Year and I hope to be able to share good news with you soon.

What Are We Waiting For?

This has been the title of the last few sermons at our church and it's really got me thinking - often in many different directions.

This adoption process is obviously one of waiting. Waiting for paperwork. Waiting for people to return emails or phone calls. Waiting for news & updates. Waiting for a referral. Every part of the process involves a period of waiting and anticipation. Although the wait has been difficult, it's also been a wait full of excitement and anticipation of what's to come. We know that we will have a beautiful son or daughter and we dream of the times that we'll be able to share as a family.

I guess what's got me thinking is how and what am I waiting for during this season of advent. Christmas is about Christ coming to earth as a baby, growing up to die which allows us to have a relationship with Him and then returning one day to take His followers home. Do I wait with the same excitement & anticipation for these things? As I wait for Christmas day to come am I thinking about the baby that was born in a manger or am I too preoccupied with gift giving, baking, Christmas parties and family gatherings? Don't get me wrong...I think these are good things, but they are not the most important.

I guess what I want is to wait with the same joy, longing and excitement for the celebration of Christ's birth and return to earth as I do with waiting to meet our baby. I'm not sure exactly how that looks like yet, but the wheels in my head are turning. In the same way I don't wait passively for our baby - we get the nursery ready, pick out names and talk about it constantly - I should not be waiting passively for Christ to come back to earth.

I don’t know if all of this will make sense but thanks for reading. I pray that you will anticipate this season with joy and excitement because there is lots to celebrate and even more to look forward to in the days to come.

Come thou long expected Jesus

Born to set thy people free

From our fears and sins release us

Let us find our rest in thee